Months of the year

Spelling was hard for me as a native, so I can’t imagine how difficult it is for my Japanese junior high schoolers.¬†Unfortunately, English spelling is very much taught by rote learning here with no emphasis on phonics or even really basic spelling rules. This is terrible for their English education, but for my personal entertainment, it’s hilarious. Today, the 8th graders had a spelling test, and by far the most entertaining was the months of the year. Here are a few of the¬†misspellings:

  • January – Janney, Junwary
  • February – Fvrey, Federey, Fevraliy
  • March – Mach, Match
  • April – Eiprl, Epler, Eiplir, Aplir
  • May – is one most kids managed to get, though there were a few “Mai”s
  • June – Jnu, Jun
  • July – Jaril, Jury
  • August – Orgest
  • September – Sertanbay
  • October – Octorber, Octanbay
  • November – Nobender, Noder, Nadeny (wtf?)
  • December – Deasnbay, Disember

These are just one class, I’m sure many more await me tomorrow.

There were also many non-month misspelling pearls, such as apoo – apple, tachy – teacher, lunt – lunch, and goil – girl, which gets half points ’cause “goil” is correct in some part of the States.


Let’s make us nonsense sentance in bed

I feel incredibly fortunate to have the JTEs I have, they are all nice and I get along with everyone. That said, there is one teacher I somewhat dread teaching with who I shall refer to as Clueless-sensei. He’s a very nice guy, but I’m almost positive he never intended to be an English teacher. The theory I work with is he applied to teach some other subject, and the school said, “Well, we don’t need anyone in that department, but can you teach English?” Most of the time, he seems to be about a lesson ahead of the kids in his English ability, and this year he’s teaching 9th graders. He can also kind of flaky and often forgets to make the handouts he needs, in addition to forgetting he has class with me and leaving me in the teacher’s room least half a dozen times now.

At best, his classes are an exercise in patience. But yesterday, he had an activity that provided me with enough entertainment that I didn’t look at the clock every 3 minutes and wonder when it was going to end.

The 9th graders are learning passive voice (“The chair was made by Jim” instead of “Jim made the chair”) and the activity was to make a silly sentence. The first student in the row would write a person or thing on a piece of paper, fold over the top, and hand it to the 2nd student who wrote a passive-verb and folded it, then the 3rd student wrote the agent (by so-and-so), 4th student wrote the location, 5th wrote when it happened, and bam, ridiculous sentence. One of the phrases in the “Location” word box was “in bed” so I knew I was in for a treat.

Here’s what we ended up with:

A bird was eaten by monkeys at home after school.

Son Goku was made by Mr. Hayakawa at school last Friday.

Okay, nothing too exciting yet, but wait!

Takahiro was lost by the police on the sun last week.

Mr. Ito was made by the girls on the moon 10 years ago.

The kids are really interested in the cosmos.

Now, it finally goes to the gutter:

Clueless-sensei was bought by the girls in bed last year.

Mr. Terata was loved by space out people in bed yesterday.

I initially thought they meant “spaced out people” in which case, I was quite impressed the student knew that phrase. But it turned out he meant “alien”. It’s always only a matter of time until someone gets probed.

And last:

Our teacher was taken by Megumi at home yesterday.

This ended up making me break down and giggle like a Japanese school girl. Clueless-sensei didn’t understand the connotation of “being taken” and was a bit confused as to why I was laughing. Sometimes I’m grateful for his limited English ability.

Ah, I’ve been looking for one of these

I wish I could take credit for this gem of an Engrish find, but it was the other ALT in town who spotted this in the conference room of one of our junior highs. I just wish I knew what these guys were going for. Is it possibly because the brand is “Peacock” and they wanted to use one syllable, but decided “double pea” didn’t roll off the tongue as well? Whatever happened, the result is hilarious.

Double Cock Keeper

One for you, and one for your friend!